In sickness and in health ... except for Alzheimer's

"Pat Roberston, this is God. Please stop speaking in my name. You're a 'cockbag.' "

cockbag

Robertson, the ex-Baptist minister-turned TV evangelist best known these days as the face of "The 700 Club," has spouted off some real doozies in the past.


Among the more notable quotes from Robertson is when he said the earthquake that killed an estimated 316,000 in Haiti happened because, according to him,"Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil." Nevermind the fact that the religious makeup of Haiti is as follows: Roman Catholic 80%, Protestant 16% (Baptist 10%, Pentecostal 4%, Adventist 1%, other 1%), none 1%, other 3%. That is 96 percent Christian for those mathletes out there. Still, 50 percent of the population cling to some part of their voodoo past, and that is where he gets the fuel for his argument. But what about the 46 percent of Hatian Christians who don't practice Voodoo at all? Apparently those are just casualties of God's war. As for the percentage of Christians in the U.S.? That figure is closer to 76 percent give or take a point or two. But, 50 percent of those pray also to "American Idol." (I just made that up.)

Other assertions made by Robertson: Hurricane Katrina was God's way of letting liberals know that that questioning then-Supreme Court nominee John Roberts about his stance on abortion is off limits. He also called for the assassination of Hugo Chavez (which I don't really mind so much, but we're talking about a religious leader here). And he mentioned something about nuking our own state department.

But his comments on "The 700 Club" Tuesday take the cake. On the show, he told his audience that it's OK to divorce your wife if she has Alztheimers, because Alztheimers is "a kind of death."

Really, Pat? Really?

“I know it sounds cruel,” he continued, “but if [the husband of a wife suffering from Alzheimer's] is going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but to make sure she has custodial care, somebody looking after her because she is essentially already dead.”

Alztheimers is terrible, and the choices that have to be made by family members dealing with this terrible disease must be beyond comprehension. I wouldn't judge anyone in that situation. But we're talking about a religious leader who continually judges others of the world, who made his career bashing others with a baseball bat marked "sanctity of marriage."

In the past he said "I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period."

And as for gays getting married: That will lead to the raping of angels. I am not making this stuff up.

But how "sact" is marriage when a spouse can be thrown away for being sick?

Imagine Robertson's revised version of Nicholas Sparks' "The Notebook." Ryan Gosling falls in love on screen with the beautiful Rachel McAdams. He kisses her in the rain "It wasn't over. It's still not over" The audience cries; wives cling tight to their hubbies. But, then the silver screen couple gets old, she gets sick. Now Ryan is free to go pick up all the retirement home trim his heart pills will cover him for.

I'm not sure that's an ending anyone would want to see, but for Robertson it's "understandable."

And for that reason, Mr. Robertson, I think even God would agree that you should be this installment's "Cockbag of the Week."

-Wes

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