Anwar al-Awalki- And another cockbag bites the dust

cockbag

Early this morning, news sources reported than Muslim radical, Anwar al-Awalki, had been killed by a US drone strike in Yemen.  Two predator drones fired hellfire missiles at a vehicle that al-Awalki was a passenger in.  So for his role in making the security lines at the airport ungodly ridiculous, Mr. Anwar al-Alaki, is the winner of this week's Cockbag of the week.


Before the CIA turned him into a fine pink mist, Al- Awalki was born in New Mexico in 1971, to a well educated family of Yemen descent.  When he was seven, his family returned to Yemen, where he spent the rest of his childhood years.  The US would would not see him again until 1991, when he returned to Colorado for a college education.  (I'm guessing the University of Yemen is not a highly regarded school)  During his college years, he spent his summers training with the Afghan Mujahideen.  June through August he was a terrorist trainee, then it was back to the states for tailgates and beer bongs.  In 1994, he married his cousin, and became an Imam at a local mosque where he preached against sin, then, in 1996 and 1997 he was arrested twice for soliciting prostitution.   I'm no expert, but I don't think the Koran condones buying hookers.  He quickly became a prominent spiritual leader for suicide bombers everywhere, including many of the 9/11 attackers.

Bet he had one hell of a friend list

He soon secured a job at at a local charity, that was ran by Al-Qaeda leaders.  They quickly saw his potential for being brainwashed, and his romance with jihad reached a whole new level.  He was rapidly becoming a big target for the FBI, coupled with several immigration issues, al-Awalki moved to England, where he was soon up to his old tricks, preaching hate and violence everywhere he went.

Finally, in 2004, he decided to give up all of his modern luxuries, like power and running water, to return to his ancestral village in Yemen with his cousin, I mean wife.  After a 18 month bid in a Yemen prison for a little kidnapping,  he was released to become one of Al-Qaeda's biggest recruiters and motivators.  He has been implicated in many attempted terror attack attempts.  He used Western evils such as Youtube and Facebook to recruit.  He has often been dubbed "the Bin-Laden of the Internet".  In 2009 he was promoted "regional commander" within al-Qaeda, where he used his power to convince his fellow Muslims to commit jihad against the US.  This is where he really screwed up.  In April of 2010, our President approved the first targeted killing of a US citizen in history, which is when his fate was sealed.  He ran to hide in his cave, but it would only be a matter of time.

He was a spiritual guide to some, but a traitor, a coward, and hypocrite to most. Now he's only good for fertilizer. So congrats to Mr. al-Awlaki for winning this week's Cockbag of the week.

-zac

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